Ernie Francis Lee looked at his library. The room was warm and dimly lit. There was a rhino horn of the rhino he killed after they had become close to extinction. He had a cabinetmaker build him a case for it from endangered timbers. The cabinetmaker had been well paid, of course, but he became sickened when the horn appeared. Then, the horn was installed in the display case. Ernie thought he might inform the police, so like many others, he disappeared soon after. He walked over the rug of a Sumatra Tiger he'd shot 15 years ago. It was such a beautiful creature. Now, only shadows of the fierceness there when it was alive were visible. No one ever came into this side of the house. No chambermaids, servants, or even his butler could enter. Dust was everywhere. He heard the doorbell chime again. It was almost time now. He was coming. He would fulfil their contract. Ernie's position, his influence in society, and his immeasurable wealth were all contractual. Ernie was afraid. He felt a warm patch on the front of his pants. He was wet again. His fear had grown every second. Now, it was time to pay the piper. His mind wandered back fifty years ago. The punch landed hard on Ernie's nose. Strong hands were holding him. "Where's the cash?" cried the thug. "I don't know what you mean. I only got 50 in my wallet and some change". The next four shots landed in rapid succession, injuring his ribs. Then, he exploded in agony as they kicked him in the testicles. They turned him around and rummaged through his clothes. "What is it," said the thug, taking out an envelope from Ernie's inner pocket. "You're hiding this from me", then kicked him again in the testicles. The agony was excruciating. The thug spat in Ernie's face. A voice shouted out, "What's going on here?". The thugs made to leave and ran fast away. A figure dashed past Ernie. Shouts and screams came from a distance. All went silent except for Ernie's laboured breathing. A handsome man appeared and helped Ernie to his feet. "I got your package back, here it is", handing it to Ernie The man's voice sounded cultivated, well-spoken. He produced a hanky and cleaned Ernie's face. Ernie looked towards where the men had run. "No need to worry. They won't be bothering anyone again, no fear" "Who are you?" Ernie gasped. "You could call me a guardian angel if you like. Fallen, of course." then he laughed. "Come on, I'll bring you to my flat; it's just up there", said his rescuer, pointing up towards the laneway. "I'll run you a bath and get you some food, up a daisy", Lifting Ernie. Having bathed and now in his rescuer's dressing gown. The handsome stranger was preparing food. Ernie wondered if he'd jumped out of the frying pan and into the fire. When he sat down, the stranger looked at him in a manner Ernie could not decipher. Then, to Ernie's surprise said "I work for Satan, Mr. Lee. I buy souls from men I think could use his special help at being successful. Can you trade yours?" "I don't believe in Souls, Mr.", leaving the sentence unfinished. "Louis Oldhob", reaching out to shake Ernie's hand. "An unusual name, Mr. Oldhob", queried Ernie. Ernie now noted a contract on the table in front of him. He studied it. You heard things about the devil where he'd trip you up with something. "So what's the offer, Mr Oldhob." "Simple, we'll help you get success, influence, power, and wealth beyond measure, and you sign your soul away now." Ernie was becoming concerned that he did have a soul, "Is there an option to buy it back if I need to?" Louis Oldhob smiled the smile of a warm-hearted man, but his eyes were as cold as the Arctic. "You can claim it back if you do small deeds for us, nothing major, no killing or anything. Speak some words we'll prepare for you." Ernie signed the contract. He didn't feel any different. What could go wrong? He had no choice but to visit a loan shark, who loaned him fifteen thousand. Ten thousand for a ticket to get into the trade show and five to pay some other small debts The following day, he brought his invention to a trade show, hoping to sell it. He'd spent a year developing it and was broke, so he couldn't afford the admission fee, which was ten thousand bucks. He set up his stall with a homemade printed sign with "Lie detector" written on it. The first day, people scoffed at the idea of a lie detector for the home, whoever heard of such nonsense. He sold two at fifty bucks each. The next day, an obese man with a suit who was puffing a large cigar approached him, "Do these work?" he asked with a sneer. Ernie said, "No." the machine beeped and flashed red several times. The man laughed, "I think you were lying there", the light went green and there was no noise. "I don't think this works at all", and made to move away. The machine beeped again, and the light flashed red several times. The man turned back to Ernie, "It is a lie detector." "Yes", said Ernie "Let's do a better test. Ask me some questions," said the fat fellow. "How old are you?" asked Ernie. "I'm sixty-three," said the fat man. The machine stayed green. "You could have researched me. Try something harder." " When did you last have sex?" asked Ernie The man looked uncomfortable and said, "Two weeks ago". The machine beeped and flashed red several times. "One month ago", the machine beeped again and turned red. "Last year", he said, and the machine stayed green. "I'd like to buy your invention. It's only worth about twenty thousand." the machine beeped and flashed red several times. Two hours later, Ernie was leaving the trade show with a new partner. Two million bucks to his name and still had a controlling interest in the new company. The obese man, delighted with his purchase of shares, now wanted to test his junior execs. He was asking them questions about their work. Three of the five lost their jobs. Ernie fought with him about the new name, but ultimately, he had to agree. Ernest Lee Lie detectors, the ELLD and the tagline, "Know the truth." The agreement was signed by a team of lawyers on one side of the table the following day. Ernie was on the other side with a lawyer whose biggest ever sale had been selling a house. The man's name was Leon Stark, a global industrialist. Stark brought Ernie to his favourite restaurant and wined and dined him for the evening. He made another offer of ten million for the remaining shares. Ernie declined. Ernie showed Starks engineers how to reproduce the machine the following afternoon. Three months later, they were being sold at two hundred each. One hundred thousand had sold. Ernie's calculator had stayed on his hand. The first time he typed it, he got a figure of two million and was happy. Then he typed it again, and it was twenty million. He called his estranged brother to tell him the good news and try to patch things up. Patrick, his brother, hung up the phone as soon as Ernie spoke. He tried calling his mother to get the same result. He sighed and decided not to bother them again. Mr. Stark called later that night to speak to Ernie about How he'd like to progress with the company. Ernie was tired but listened to Leon for over an hour. His engineers wanted his permission to make a miniature version of the lie detector. This could be implanted into someone's brain. Ernie said he's thinking about it. They also wanted him to talk to a Cultural Sociologist. The possible ramifications of what a portable lie detector would mean to society. Ernie showed no interest in any cultural upheavals. In Ernie's mind, people should tell the truth. People scoffed at the idea that a miniature device could tell if someone was lying. They were very wrong. President Williams was being asked a question. A reporter sat on the reporter's panel of the hit television show Question Time for Politics. The reporter, Thomas Curry, asked, "Have you made any money through corruption from being the President?" President Johnson said, "I hear a lot of questions asked of this nature on a regular basis. Surely, there should be questions on the state of the country. My opponent was found with large sums of various currency in his possession. Why are you not talking to him about that? Why do we have to keep going through people's pasts to find things to bring them down. It is quite frankly disgusting." Curry continued, "But that was not the question I asked. Are you being evasive, Mr. President? Also, have you benefited from corruption by being President?" President Johnson looked at the reporter, "Of course, the answer to both questions is no'.' The ELLD beeped loudly and flashed red several times. "Mr. President, this is the Ernest Lee Lie Detector lie detector. It suggests you just told a lie when you said you were not being evasive and not corrupt." The following day, there was a surge in sales. Leon Stark suggested they increase the cost of the ELLD's. Ernie agreed. Now, with snap elections looming. Now, all reporters had their personal ELLD's to question people. As the years progressed, sales increased. Ernie owned several mansions, and his wife of three years had divorced him. He was investigated for her mysterious disappearance. Nothing was found to tie him to it. As their divorce was not finalised, her family got nothing. A young man, Jack, bought his personal ELLD and was out on a date with his fiancee, Alice. It had been a whirlwind romance. They planned to marry and buy a house together. He was deeply in love with her. "Alice, look what I bought, it's all the rage. It's an Ernest Lee Lie Detector, ELLD for short," he showed her the ELLD. She looked concerned. In her mind, she was wondering if it was a lie detector or not. Something so small couldn't be a working device. Jack said, "Let's give it a try. What am I wearing?". Alice said, "Trousers, shirt, socks and shoes." Jack laughed, "You're wearing a suit of armour." Beep and flashed red Alice was even more concerned now. "Alice, what's wrong? Are you feeling ill?" Alive said, "Yes" Beep and flashed red Jack said, "Okay, Alice, what's wrong. Are you nervous around the ELLD?" Alice said, "No, of course not" Beep and flashed red Jack pressed her, "Are you lying to me? I thought we didn't keep secrets from each other." Alice said, "Of course, we don't keep secrets from each other." Beep and flashed red, Jack felt very uncomfortable, "Have you lied to me before, Alice?" "No, never. I love you. You're the only love I've known." Beep and flashed red Jack Asked, "Have you had other lovers?" Alice said, "No, none. I love you." Beep and flashed red. Jack felt a wedge of ice enter his heart, "Have you had many lovers?" Alice began pleading with her eyes, "Only a few, but they meant nothing to me." Beep and flashed red. "How many have you had, more than fifty?" "No, of course not." Beep and flashed red Jack broke off the relationship with Alice, leaving her devastated. She had told him she was a virgin when they first met. A husband was being questioned by his wife with the ELLD on the table. "Whose cooking is better, mine or your mother's." His answer resulted in a beep. His answer didn't please her, and she filed for divorce the next day. A wife was being questioned by her husband about a girls' night she had. She was at her bachelorette party twenty-two years before. "Did you have sex with men at your bachelorette party?" "She screamed, "Of course not." Beep and flashed red. He filed for divorce the next day. A man was explaining to a tax inspector why there were several sports cars in his name. "I'm just minding them for a friend." His personal ELLD beeped and flashed red A newspaper article came out about the Ernest Lee Lie Detector. The social problems it was causing were due to lies not being able to be kept, and the number of divorces was rising. Murders and domestic abuse were rising. Protests were forming about the device. Thousands of people were rioting. One of the leaders of the protests was on television. He shouted about this new device, which would cause cultural collapse unless banned. The first reporter had his ELLD in front of her. "Remove that device before you ask me any questions." She pretended to turn it off and put it away in her bag. "Are you just using this current climate to further your political ambitions?" "Of course not. I care deeply about what is happening in our society." From the reporter's handbag, a loud beep and her bag shone for a split second as the red light pulsed through the lining. The protests fizzled out shortly afterwards. Leon approached Ernie, concerned about what was happening. The murder rate was at an all-time high. Each day, they increased. Suicides were also rising at an alarming rate. Sales of hard drugs increased. "Ernie, please talk to the Cultural Sociologist. He has been calling me every day about the breakdown in society." Ernie met with him the following day, and he was bored silly by the time the meeting ended. According to the Cultural Sociologist, people must tell lies to not hurt other people's feelings. They were needed for the government to work. Ernie looked at the sociologist blankly and said, "Know the truth," then he laughed. Thirty years had passed now. He was getting concerned about the contract. He thought he could buy the contract off Mr. Louis Oldhob. He went to the location where the flat was located. The building was demolished years ago. Ernie's shares in the company had made him a trillionaire. Someone developed a device which would nullify the ELLD. This would make the original device obsolete. Ernie had the engineers reconfigure the new devices to counter this new menace to the truth. Ernie found out later that it was someone in Stark Engineering. They are currently serving twenty-five years for industrial espionage. Leon Stark died fifteen years before. Ernie was alone. He was lonely. His butlers had women sent to him. He always insisted on condoms, but they always insisted on no condoms, that they were on the pill and such. He told no one that he had a vasectomy years before. Something which helped when he was accused of being a father to a child by a woman who he'd never met Ernie was the man everyone loved to hate. Fingers pointed in his direction for the breakdown in society. Blamed for the war that broke out and the hundreds of thousands of deaths that occurred. Blamed for the collapse of the currency system. His influence in government came because he gave politicians a new device. This would nullify any fluctuations in their voices so they could lie freely. When Ernie was at his lowest, he had an unexpected call. It was Louis Oldhob. Forty years had passed, and he had not aged a day. Ernie cried at his feet, begging to repurchase the contract. He would sell everything he had to buy it. Oldhob was unmoved. He pulled a page from his jacket, "Here is a list of things we want to do to void the contract." The next day, Ernie diversified the company into biological industries. Five years later, after the plagues had ravaged populations of the civilised world. Ernie was offering a vaccine which would stop further infections. Oldhob appeared again, "Here is the updated list for you to buy your soul." Ernie wept, and he began funding radicals and religious extremists. They fought one another, further reducing the population. Then he realised that the jab his company developed made most women infertile. The Church of Satan's congregation had few casualties. Neither the plague nor the jab affected them in any harmful manner. They were still reproducing babies, which made people think Satan protected his people. Five years later, Ernie waited in his library for Oldhob to return. He was afraid he had wet himself again. The doorbell didn't ring, but somehow Ernie knew he was in the house. Ernie went to the window to see if he could see anything. "So, Mr Lee, are you prepared to honour the contract?" said Oldhob "I did what you asked", replied Ernie. "Yes, indeed you did. My master wishes to tell you he's delighted with you. You have caused a shift in the balance of power between Heaven and Hell", said Oldhob as he smiled. He pulled the contract out of his pocket," Consider this contract null and void". He crumpled it up and tossed it in the air, where it burst into flame. Ernie looked relieved. He started laughing and crying at the same time. Oldhob continued, "You must answer for what you've done since you signed the contract, of course." The smile faded from Ernie's face. "Just so you are aware, everything you've done since we met has been your own success; we didn't do anything. It was all your doing." Oldhob turned his eyes to Ernie, "God is the Judge. It's before him who'll choose your fate. Are you really that stupid to think you could sign away your soul?"
